Scorecard

Rickmansworth II v Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 3rd XI on Sat 30 May 2009 at 13:30
Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club Won by 1 wicket

Match report TM III's 'better than television'...

Sunday, May 31st, 2009, and two master puppeteers consider the disparate effects of Saturday's events on their reputations. Or so I imagine.

The previous evening, Simon Cowell had driven a middle-aged Scottish woman with learning disabilities to seek refuge in The Priory. Whereas Charles Low had driven a team with fielding disabilities to the apex of Saracens Hertfordshire Cricket League Division 6.

So TM III's got talent. But just how did they pull off an incredible victory over Rickmansworth II's against all the odds?

First things first. We won the toss and...

...wait for it...

...we stuck 'em in.

Charlie's team talk left us in little doubt that RUN AVOIDANCE was the number one priority. Second, third, fourth and fifth in Charlie's list of priorities were also RUN AVOIDANCE, so a tardy Hilton Nathanson was given short shrift when he eventually emerged from the changing rooms sporting some purloined boots. (Apparently, Hilton's bag lady had neglected to pack his own boots.)

And then, in the baking-hot sun, on a picturesque Rickmansworth ground, the 100 Club* did toil.

TM's made a very reasonable start, with tight bowling from Low and Alderton keeping the runs down (hurrah!). But the performance in the field was far from perfect. At drinks, the match was fairly even and both teams seemed happy with the score somewhere around 50-1.

Supping over, more hard labour for Tony and Charlie. Wickets were at a premium but RUN AVOIDANCE was going reasonably well with the remaining Rickmansworth opener scoring at less than a run an over. Sadly, with the fall of wickets, he was joined at the crease by two much more capable batsmen in succession and the run rate, assisted by some casual fielding, began to creep up.

After 21 overs of ridiculously expensive bowling (more than three an over Tony! When was the last time that happened?) Alderton made way for young gun, James Hutcheson-Hutchinson who, after firing down a couple of wides, bowled well, up to and including the death. The skipper, Low, who bowled through once more, returned admirable figures of 27-4-103-5.

At the close of the innings, Rickmansworth II's had managed 221 for 8 from 53 overs and seemed confident. I had managed to limit myself to three pints of IPA and was in bullish mood too. We could chase these down, no problem. After all, we had specialist batsmen all the way down to number 8.

Money on TM's.

But it was first blood to Rickmansworth II's. And second, third and fourth blood too, as both TM's openers fell cheaply, debutant Waqas Memon was trapped lbw first ball and a livid Ketan Shah was given out caught behind after a long deliberation. Cue much whooping and hollering and 'I'm liking that, Wozzer' in the outfield.

Money on Rickmansworth.

Thankfully, an unflustered Hilton was a constant at the crease throughout this mini-collapse and he batted on superbly to reach 50 and then 100, ably assisted by James Hutcheson-Hutchinson (24) and Pablo Martin (20).

Money on TM's.

We were never cruising, but always in with a very good shout of victory while Hilton was in. But when he holed out, exhausted, for 102, it seemed all was lost.

Money on Rickmansworth.

So near and yet so far, as someone once famously said about a situation something like this one. But that someone had reckoned without the salt-and-pepper Geppetto of Old Mill Hill.

And so, before a hushed crowd, the master puppeteer entered stage right. Immediately exit stage left two balls, as the skip' hoisted them sweetly over the boundary rope. Charlie made a quickfire 22 and we were definitely, definitely back in the box seat.

Money on TM's.

Or were we. When Charlie was caught at cover, looking for the big 'un, both teams fancied their chances. Nine down and four runs needed off the last over.

Money on Rickmansworth? Money on TM's? I know my money was disappearing over the bar at a frightening rate.

Step forward the old oak, Tony Alderton, who, having dobbed his first ball straight to the fielder at cover, set off for a non-existent single. The look on non-striker Stewie's face was priceless. But there was no turning back for Tony and with the Rickmansworth fielders in shock at this audacious act, both batsmen made it home. As Stewie struck the winning runs, the excited world-famous flamenco guitarist Juan Martin, who was in the crowd, declared, 'That was better than television!'

And it was, really. At least nobody's in a mental hospital because of our game.

P.S. I will leave you with another of J.L. Carr's Extra-Ordinary Cricketers (not particularly apt this week, but amusing nonetheless):

William Clarke, Notts., b.1798, a one-eyed bricklayer of parsonic demeanour who founded Trent Bridge, was the first managerial entrepreneur and is said to have played by ear. He bowled rearing underarm breakbacks whose difficulty was exacerbated by his shrill cry of 'We shall 'ave a haccident, sir, in a moment!' He is the earliest example of an unhappily enduring line of odious captains with rooted dislike of taking themselves off.

* For anyone who doesn't know, and forgive me boys, the 100 Club are thus called because their combined age is well in excess of 100.


Rickmansworth II Batting
Player name Runs
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 8 wickets
0
221 (0.0 overs)
Bashir Caught  and bowled J. Hutcheson 65
Walsh Bowled  C. Low 24
Hattea Caught  C. Low bowled T. Alderton 17
S. Treluar Caught  P. Martin bowled C. Low 56
Weedon Lbw  C. Low 20
Chadwick Lbw  J. Hutcheson 13
Johnston Bowled  C. Low 10
Collins Not Out  6
D. Treluar Caught  S. Wernham bowled C. Low 1
   
   

Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Charles Low27.04103520.603.81
Tony Alderton21.0179179.003.76
James Hutcheson5.0035217.507.00

Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 9 wickets
0
223
(0.0 overs)		    
Mike Webb Caught  wkt keeper bowled Taimor 5
Kristian Waters Bowled  Weedon 12
Hilton Nathanson Caught  Collins 102
Waqas Memon Lbw  Weedon 0
Ketan Shah Caught  wkt keeper bowled Johnston 4
James Hutcheson Caught  Collins 24 1
Pablo Martin Lbw  Collins 20 1
Stefano Da Re Caught  Collins 8
Charles Low Caught  Johnston 22 1
Stewart Wernham Not Out  7 1
Tony Alderton Not Out  1

Rickmansworth II Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Collins17.0179326.334.65
Taimoor7.0212112.001.71
Weedon5.0022211.004.40
Johnston16.0183327.675.19
S. Treluar2.002000.0010.00

  • Umpire :
    Bob Chandler
  • Scorer :
    Bob Hope