Scorecard

Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 2nd XI v Stevenage II on Sat 26 Jun 2010 at 1:00pm
Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club Lost by 70 runs

Match report “On this road there are no godspoke men. They are gone and I am left and they have taken with them the world.” The Road, Cormac McCarthy

Rowley Lane. The Road. The place where fast bowlers come to die. Medium pacers too. Spinners likewise. It’s a bowlers bone yard. RUN AVOIDANCE is the only way to play: put ‘em in, strangle ’em as best you can, and knock ‘em off.

Well, we managed the first bit. We won the toss and put them in.

30-degree heat, The Road to bowl on, what’s the worst that could happen? Um.

One look at the scorecard below and you’ll realise we didn’t fair too well in the old RUN AVOIDANCE stakes. Our cause wasn’t helped by dropping their Aussie a few times, and he went on to make a big ton. Thank heavens he was using a broken bat (every shot sounded like a consumptive’s death rattle) otherwise we may have been chasing 300+. Then again, if we’d caught him on 20, 40, or even 70, we’d have been chasing considerably less than 250.

Ah well, cudder, shudder, wudder, said Buddha, as he put down a regulation caught and bowled. And so here are the highlights of their innings:

1. Their opener had a good knock but, being a kindly soul, he did give us a number of chances to get him out. We don’t take well to charity though. We’re too proud.
2. Young Ollie Ridout bowled excellently, despite a ferocious growth spurt that saw him burst out of his boot like The Incredible Hulk (or The Incredible Hulk’s foot, at least). Whatever you do, don't make his fists angry.
3. Pasha Ali bowled a fantastic , and lengthy, spell that resulted in these magnificent figures: 20.0-3-69-5.
4. It was a lovely hot afternoon.

Tea came and went, as tea does, but from daydreams on the road there was no waking. And so, it was our turn to bat on the Tarmac.

Joe Askham’s pre-innings speech was a doozy, telling all and sundry that getting out in the thirties was the biggest crime of all on The Road, as he rallied us for battle. Joe made 32.

Braced for combat with a pair of grunting, snarling, rabid opening bowlers, Waleed Khan and Pete Leslie were instead greeted by a camp 'Hiya boys!' from Stevenage II's premier bowler, Ethereal Geoff.

Ethereal Geoff is 6' 2" and probably weighs under six stones when fully-clothed. However, he had spent most of the day chasing his teammates around the boundary wearing very little in the way of clothing and was now resplendent in DayGlo Hoxton sunglasses to field/bowl.

Along with his extraordinary lack of inhibitions, Ethereal Geoff was also blessed with extraordinary lack of pace. Never before had I seen a cricket ball bowled so slowly. Each time this willowy northern wisp ghosted in to deliver the ball, he overtook it in his follow-through. He then trotted on, just ahead of the projectile, coaxing it this way and that by carving corridors of uncertainty through the air – a bit like curlers brushing the ice smooth to guide their stones home. In this enchanting way did Ethereal Geoff offer up his balls to the batsmen, inviting tender strokeplay in the covers or a little tickle down to long leg.

Credit where credit is due though, Ethereal Geoff winkled a few of us out. He dismissed one batsman with a ball so slow that, having allowed three or four seconds for said delivery to pass underneath his shouldered arms, the TMs player was flabbergasted to find the ball still there when he lowered his willow, somehow deflecting it onto the stumps. This resulted in a cheeky smile from Ethereal Geoff, accompanied by a the lightest of pats on the botty for the departing batsman.

With Stevenage on top and with plenty of runs in the bank, they arksed their Australian pastry chef to get the buffet out. Needless to say, as proud men, we took to his charitable pies like a brick to water. As he lobbed up his oven-fresh patties, we simply belted them in the air for their fielders to catch. Criminal really.

Here are the highlights of our innings:

1. Waleed, Haris and Joe all made 30s – and are wanted for hanging.
2. Riz (who's in my fantasy team) was not out.
2. Joe’s bat was amazing. Sadly, a bit too good. After flicking the ball away for an easy single he watched it carry all the way to the boundary, where it was caught.
4. The weather stayed glorious well into the evening.

It was a bad defeat but one on which we should not dwell. I have a sneaky feeling that next week's game against Eversholt will be a cracker and result in only our second win of the season. Could I be right?

Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 2nd XI Batting
181 for 10
Player Name RunsCatchesStumpingsRun outs
Peter Leslie Caught  3
Waleed Khan Caught  30
Matt Crutchlow Bowled  10
Haris Ali Soomro Caught  37
Hassan Ali Caught  6
Sarfraz Ahmed Caught  19
Pasha Ali Lbw  6 1
Joseph Askham Caught  32 1
Shahrokh Navaee Stumped  5
Rizwan Siddiqui Not Out  8
Oliver Ridout Caught  2

Stevenage II Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Stevenage II Batting
251 for 7
Player name Runs
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Totteridge Millhillians Cricket Club 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Rizwan Siddiqui11.015200.004.73
Oliver Ridout10.4138219.003.56
Shahrokh Navaee5.212600.004.88
Pasha Ali20.0369513.803.45
Peter Leslie3.002300.007.67
Sarfraz Ahmed4.011800.004.50

  • Umpire :
    Ali Kazmi
  • Scorer :
    Team