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06 Sep 2010 : CHAMPIONS!!! AND THE 4th XI UP AS WELL
Congratulations to the 1st XI, securing promotion from Division 1 of the Herts League by a mammoth 40 point margin!



Congratulations also to the 4th XI who rise to Division 7, only just missing out on their own divisional championship after losing their final game by just 1 run.



The 2s and 3s survived in their own divisions despite some late season scares.



All in all, a very successful season, and one we will use as a foundation for even bigger and better things.

03 Sep 2010 : This is it....
So, this is it. The 'sharp end of the season' as the cliche often goes.

Two of the four men's league teams had their critical results last Saturday: a strong draw and a disappointing loss for the 2s and 3s respectively proved enough for both sides to ensure they will be playing in divisions 3 and 6 in 2011. Good news indeed, and worthy of celebration given the precarious positions both sides had previously experienced, but not the celebration that we had in mind back in April.

http://www.totteridgemillhillians.com/scorecard/fixtureID_126870/2ndXI_v_NorthMymmsII_28-Aug-2010.aspx
http://www.totteridgemillhillians.com/scorecard/fixtureID_126904/3rdXI_v_LetchworthIII_28-Aug-2010.aspx
 
Both will play their last game hoping to finish strongly and with pride, but attention now rightly turns to the other two sides. As you know, both the 1st and 4th XIs have enjoyed superb seasons up to this point, and both go into the final game at the top of their respective divisions. Neither's promotion is totally secured, with the opaque league rules meaning the numbers of teams allowed to progress is dependent on the number of relegated teams from the Home Counties Premier League (where the 1s hope to be playing next year).
 
As we best understand it, the fabulous wins enjoyed by both on Saturday mean they require 14 points and 17 points respectively to be totally certain of promotion, but wins would of course send both up as division champions.
 
http://www.totteridgemillhillians.com/scorecard/fixtureID_126841/1stXI_v_Chorleywood_28-Aug-2010.aspx
http://www.totteridgemillhillians.com/scorecard/fixtureID_126923/4thXI_v_OffleyStopsley_28-Aug-2010.aspx
 
As luck would have it, both teams finish their seasons at home, with the 1st XI at The Ridge and the 4s at Rowley Lane - if you find yourself lounging around on Saturday why not pop to either ground to give the teams the support they so richly deserve.
 
Sunday saw win number 3,784 of the season for Roger, and I'm sure he will be looking to continue his success throughout September - the cricket season doesn't finish when the league does, so please continue to make yourselves available for our September friendlies after this weekend.
 
http://www.totteridgemillhillians.com/scorecard/fixtureID_149027/SundayXI_v_Roxbourne_29-Aug-2010.aspx
 
Finally, with the right support, a continuation of their excellent form, and a prevailing wind, we may well be able to celebrate two promotions and perhaps even a champion or two come Saturday night. The End Of Season Party & Prizegiving is at the club immediately after the end of the 1st XI game (or maybe during it, who knows).
 
This weekend more than any other this season: very, very good luck to all involved. Come on TM's.

26 Aug 2010 : A team should know when they are beaten......
With only 14 points separating the TM2s from the relegation zone and with little resources from elsewhere to call upon , it was with a grim determination that this band of brothers made the trip up to Harpenden , a team in 5th place, on a winning run and seeking promotion to the 2nd division.

Given the 2s propensity to self destruct whilst batting and the fact that our victories had come from defending totals, therefore, no matter what the surface or conditions skipper Rizwan Siddiqui has no choice but to bat first if the toss is won. Today this was irrelevant as the opposition would have inserted us in anyway.

Joe Askham and Matt Crutchlow began proceedings against a high quality seam attack and despite several close calls survived the early onslaught. Runs were at a premium and with only 19 scored off the first 9 overs – Matt fell trying to move the rate along. 

Their followed two very useful partnerships involving the top order trio of Joe (31) Saf (35)and Haris Ali (38) , however none of them could press home the advantage and despite being 123-3 in the 40th over there then followed the mother of all collapses as 7 wickets fell for 12 runs in 7 overs, despite having a strong lower order full of all-rounders which had rescued many previous innings before.

Their then followed an interesting turn of events, Rizwan was determined that as tea was not ready we should get back out there and commence the Harpenden innings straight away. This would hopefully make the TMs forget about their dismal batting quickly and give an immediate chance to put pressure on Harpenden in a tricky 20 min period , then for the bowlers to come out refreshed again after the tea break.

The umpires agreed that as tea was not ready, we should start the Harpenden innings and as the TMs were preparing to enter the field the oppo umpire then decided that tea delivery was only 5 mins away and therefore it would be taken immediately. Rizwan said if it was not here in exactly 5 mins then we would take the field and expect to commence. No sign of tea after 5 mins and despite the obvious and unsurprising unwillingness of the oppo to take to the field... play commenced.

First ball of the innings and Rizwan strikes by bowling the opener and soon after Nozmul Hussain removes their dangerous looking No 3. After 8 overs and with the score on 27-2 tea was finally taken and the TMs had a glimmer of hope.

Immediately after tea Nozmul struck again as the policy of short spells and rotating ends seemed to not allow the batsman to settle. At 29-3, Harpenden sent in a gun to start muscling some boundaries, another change was made and Rizwan replaced Nozmul and immediately struck a double blow to leave Harpenden struggling on 62-5.

During this period Shakeel Durrani bowled an inspired spell that had Harpenden in all sorts of trouble , particularly their opener Latham, who we somehow managed to put down three times and for that we were about to pay. There were a further three dropped chances, six in total!

Latham took advantage of his good fortune and as his innings went on he began to grow in confidence and despite losing another wicket on 94, seemed all set to lead Harpenden to victory with just 10 runs required, the score on 125-6, 14 overs still remaining and his own tally on 74.

Shakeel returning from the pavilion end then struck up a vital bowling partnership with Rizwan , (by this time Nozmul was injured and could not bowl any further) by finally....deservedly.... getting Latham out clean bowled ( best not to rely on the fielders !!) by an absolute corker of an inswinging delivery , Rizwan followed up by taking two wickets in consecutive overs to leave Harpenden on 128-9. 

A Mexican stand off ...who would blink first?

Unfortunately it was us ...on 132-9 a chance was offered up at square leg off the bowling of Rizwan to Shakeel, put down ,aaaargh... the butterfingered malaise afflicting the team did not spare the bowlers. Next ball an airy drive just clears the infield and two runs are taken. 134-9 , one run for a tie, anything more and Harpenden win. Rizwan comes in to bowl his fifth delivery of the over.

Bang!! 

Ball on bat???...Hell no.....ball on stumps !!! and TMs with that one wicket gain a further 21 points...to take home the full 30 and secure a vital victory against one of the top teams. 

The 2s had done it again and for the third time this season had won a match that seemed well and truly lost......perhaps a team should know when it is defeated....but not this one....not this one.



-------------------------------------------------------------

TM 2 135-10 47 0vers 
19-1,52-2,93-3,123-4,123-5,127-6,127-7,128-8,128-9,135-10.

Harpenden III 134-10 49 overs
0-1,27-2,29-3,57-4,62-5,94-6,125-7,128-8,128-9,134-10.

24 Aug 2010 : London Colney tickle for the 2s
This tickle was supposed to go like a Swiss watch: We arrive. We bat. We bowl. We win. We leave. But when I introduce you to the unusual suspects, you’ll see why this raid on London Colney went off more like a Swiss cheese...



The firm:



Rizla (The Muscle)

Jimmy Caan Ahmed (The Deal Clincher)

Birdseye McDougal (The Honey Trap)

MC Rutchlow (The Draughtsman)

Petay Leslay (The NZ Connection)

Haris Ali Soomro (The Spin Doctor)

Nice One Ali (The Enigma)

Waqar Ali (The Patsy)

Yasir ‘Dani Boy’ Khan (The Usual Umpire)

Roger Luck (Kayser Soze)

Shakeel Durani… you all know.



We arrived on time and staked out the joint: so far, so good. Nothing to fear here. Rizla called correctly at the toss and we batted first, as planned.



Their opening bowler was a big man, but he was in bad shape. Even so, he generated a fair bit of pace and bounce, blowing Petay Leslay’s bloody doors off early on as the NZ Connection snicked a cheeky riser to the ‘keeper.



We were forced to call on The Deal Clincher, Saf Ahmed, far too soon, and the draughtsman, MC Rutchlow, hastily drew up an improvised plan: singles, and lots of them.



It was both a surprise and a delight for their TMs teammates as the pair kept the score ticking along and, as is so unlike us, one wicket didn’t immediately become two or three, or more. So, we’re about 60-1 with 21 overs gone and the rain starts coming down. It was heavy, man. So off we trot for a cup of splosh and an oily rag, before resuming the game (which is now 14 overs shorter, like what Riz said up there ^).



Of course, Saf only goes and forgets all what we’ve done so far and tries to launch one big straight away. He gets caught with his Leslie Crowthers down, playing a loose cover drive in the air, and he’s mullered. What a Jackie Brambles.



Enter The Spin Doctor, Haris Ali Soomro. The first ball arrives and he gets struck somewhere around the point where glove becomes forearm. With the ball safely ensconced in the ‘keeper’s gloves, our umpire, Chemical Ali, made Haris an offer he couldn’t refuse and he departed in angry and high-pitched fashion. It’s understandable, I suppose; no one likes to be caught out getting one off the wrist.



Now their danders are right up (and I ain’t talking Barnet Fair), so who better to get ‘em thinking than The Enigma, Hassan ‘Nice One’ Ali.



Nice One arrives, sporting his trademark mischievous grin. I have to say, it is always a pleasure batting with Hassan – not least because of the way the opposition react to his unorthodox methods. As is his want, Nice One immediately sets about the bowling, swiping one over midwicket off the toe of the bat, which prompted some Alan Border verbals from the bowler. “What the fackin ‘ell was that?” he says.



Nice One replies with a nice one: “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?” A confused bowler headed back to his mark and charged in again. But no amount of effort will do today for London Colney’s bowlers.



It’s boom time for TMs as Hassan waters the green shoots of our innings and the oppo are forced into a period of recession. Nice One is slamming the ball all over the place, but also adding some subtlety with three reverse, erm, dobs over the ‘keeper’s head which resulted in their skipper posting a man there. Nice try but you simply can’t set a field to Nice One, who made an entertaining 50. And when his partner MC Rutchlow departed for 69, Birdseye McDougal chipped in with well crafted 22. The Nice One ran Rob out. He's an enigma wrapped up in a wassername, locked inside a thingy, is our Nice one.



With The Rizla strongarming a rapid 22 n.o. in the final few overs, we posted 208-7 off 47. Not bad considering a) the rain break and b) the fact that, up until this point, we had only posted 200+ four times this season.



So time for more splosh and a bit of grub and then we hit the turf running to finish the blag.



Well, we did until the rain came again.



To be fair, 209 off 40 overs was a decent ask and they sent in their big guns to open, hoping for a flyer. But tight bowling form The Rizla and Shakeel meant there was little to go after and when their innings was reduced to 29 overs by a heavy shower, they were never going to go for it.



We ended up taking four wickets and leaving with 14 points, four more than if we’d been washed out, so well worth exerting pressure on their umpire to make a game of it. Is it enough to keep us safe though?



Safe? You must be crackers. Although if you want truly loop the loop, I have a feeling the game against Harpenden 3s might be the game to read about.



What a season. It’s been emotional.

13 Aug 2010 : 14 August ... 2s and 3s games OFF...2s and 3s games OFF ... and 1s and 4s come to that
both Ridge and Rowley Lane underwater so games are OFF
1s made a start, 15 for 1 after 7 overs, 4s called off before we made the trip to Luton

06 Aug 2010 : 100% record for tour XI
Two wins out of two. Great cricket, great company and great fun. A definate success.

01 Aug 2010 : 4s stay top thanks to Chairs and Raks

31 Jul 2010 : Gregg "Patience" Cruder and Tony "Suicide" Alderton see 3s home

31 Jul 2010 : Tms ride out storm, then Ridout storms West Harrow...

With this promising to be our toughest assignment of the season, an SOS was put out for reinforcements, and Aleem and Hassan duly responded (thanks guys!).

West Harrow won the toss and confidently elected to bat. They then went about their batting as if it was a ten over game, trying to blast everything to the boundary. They clearly had some talented hitters, but this was our patch and we had a very experienced attack. Aleem Hussain (1-43) was looking sharp and dangerous, Roger Luck (2-25) and Mark Dearing (1-27) were putting the ball in the right places and after just 30.4 overs and despite some more dodgy TM fielding*, Harrow had been skittled for 209.

*The most spectacular piece of incompetence in the field this week, was the skipper running across from deep fine leg to third man, putting his hand down perfectly in line with the ball, then somehow managing to kick the ball past his hand before he could close it. Couldn't do it again if I tried!


Tea was taken and Tms looked very happy and confident.


When our innings started everything was going very well until Mike Webb (5), played a terrible shot and was bowled. This brought us to 27-1, but enter Gregg Cruder, playing to try to find some form. He definately found it as he made an excellent 61, putting on 135 for the 2nd wicket with Phil Ridout.

By now Mr. Ridout Snr. was looking at the top of his game again and despite failures for Aleem Hussain (4) and Hassan Ali (4), he soon found a partner in P.K. (18*) and was able to apply the final touches to the game, finishing unbeaten on a majestic 84 not out (much to the frustration of his onlooking family- "we'll never hear the last of this"). Another top knock by the guy, who is now averaging over 50 and looking to stake a claim for Sunday POY!


A very fine win and a pat on the back to everyone who contributed.


30 Jul 2010 : Hatfield lured into the Dragon’s Den…

As any budding entrepreneur or cricketer knows, the pitch holds the key to securing a result. Misjudge it, and you might end up leaving with nothing. So, it was fortuitous that TMs had their very own Cricketing Dragon, Sarfraz ‘James Caan’ Ahmed, in charge at the business end of Saturday’s fixture against Hatfield.

Having won the toss, Rizwan ‘The Rizla’ Siddiqui opted to bat – a good idea, considering the previous two victories doing likewise. 

*** Dragon Our Heels ***

It was a slow but steady start by openers Waleed Khan (11) and Matt Crutchlow (24) and the pitch, whilst looking docile, spat a couple times at the latter batsman. However, having accrued around 30 for no loss, a lapse in concentration saw Waleed chip a simple catch to mid-off, bringing in the newly-promoted Joe Askham (14) at number three. 

*** Dragon On (Twice) ***

Joe, as is his want, struck the ball cleanly for a short period of time before dragging a ball that kept a mite low onto his stumps. When Haris Soomro (1) did exactly the same thing, Sarfraz ‘James Caan’ Ahmed (4) strode purposefully to the crease.

*** Enter The Dragon ***

Saf’s cricketing investment portfolio speaks for itself: a run-accruement business (currently in administration), a wicket harvesting venture that operates sporadically well, and a catch factory that does tidy business. Saf also has a entertaining sideline in novelty sports injuries – arm-wrestling sprains, a cut glass back and regular bouts of cramp, to name but three. 

*** Exit The Dragon ***

So, the first ball was delivered to Saf, who rocked back and stroked it to the cover boundary in fine style. However, this was the sum total of his innings as he planted his front foot firmly in line, only for their left-armer to swing the ball back in, trapping Saf bang in front. And for that reason, Saf said to himself, I’m out. 

*** The Tale Of The Rizla’s Powerful Tail ***

With their young right-arm opening bowler having reached his maximum spell, they brought on a spinner who bowled at the same pace as, I imagine, Deborah Meaden would were she forced to play cricket. He got Crutchlow out straightaway though. 

Unable to handle the long wait for the first ball to arrive, and after selecting six or seven different but equally injudicious shots, Crutchlow plumped for an unattractive slog sweep employing stiff arms and straight legs (think Boris Johnson with 5-wood). Unsurprisingly, no dice. A few balls later, the divot attempted a shot that was so bad it has no name and he was caught out at gully off the back of the bat.

When Jahangir Ahmed (3) was bowled 'round his legs and Hassan ‘Nice One, Nice one’ Ali too was bowled after a brisk but important knock of 19, our knees began to buckle. But with senior pro’s, The Rizla and Nozmul ‘The Nozzle’ Hussain, at the crease, we were confident of posting something competitive. That is, we were confident until The Rizla powered a straight pull shot back toward the bowler who deflected it onto the stumps, running out The Nozzle. 

Bhabi-shambles! 

However, all was not lost and Waqas Memon (10) proved a worthy foil as The Rizla blocked and heaved his way to a match-changing 27. We ended up on 131 all out, which was not the end of the world, as they were probably expecting to get us for around 90. Perhaps the momentum was with TMs after all – especially with a Dragon onboard. 

TEA: We had tea and it was nice. 

So, we began bowling and the pitch was doing a bit. The Rizla and The Nozzle opened up with some big swingers and, after a steady start by their opening pair, we got stuck into Hatfield like they were the tuck shop and we were a fat kid. 

After scores of 15 and 11 for Hatfield's two openers, there followed a run of 1, 4, 0, 8, 9, 2, as the Nozzle (7-1-30-2), The Rizla (8-2-32-3) and Ollie ‘Hulk Foot’ Ridout (7-4-21-2) chomped and guzzled their way through assorted tuck. For his first wicket, Hulk Foot produced the classic left-arm-over dismissal as the batsman shouldered arms to a ball that nipped back off the seam and nipped out his off stump. 

All done and dusted then? Oh come on now, you know TMs second team better than that, don’t you? 

When their big number nine chucked his car keys in the fruit bowl and came out swinging, things began to look a bit tricksy. The randy devil made a quick 33 and looked like taking this well-earned victory away from us. What to do Riz? Who to turn to when the going gets tough? No, not Billy Ocean, Riz. Not him. 

*** Dragon Hide ***

Despite constant ribbing from his teammates, and a lack of runs under his belt, Cricketing Dragon Safraz ‘James Caan’ Ahmed had not lost his confidence in being able to seal a deal. And when The Rizla turned to his key man at this crucial point in the game, Saffy did not disappoint. As someone who knows all about dragons once said, “If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon”, and Saf seemed particularly tickled to have the ball in his hand as he trundled in to wobble it all over the (tuck) shop. 

*** Saf The Magic Dragon ***

Our Dragon needed just 2.2 overs to take the last three wickets and bring the meeting to a satisfactory conclusion for TMs. One was caught in the outfield, whilst two were caught and bowled. Saf’s third was a particularly smart snatch off his bootlaces.

*** The Way of the Dragon ***

And so it came to pass that TMs ended up dowsing their evening meal in Reggae Reggae Sauce, whilst Hatfield left with nothing (well, 10 points and a Baby Dream Machine (http://www.babydreammachine.com).